The Inner Workings of my Schizophrenic Mind

Me and My Big Mouth

Friday, April 29, 2005

To those who happen to know me personally will know that I usually blurt out things without thinking. Well actually, it's not that I don't think at all, it's just that I say the first thing that comes into my mind without realizing the consequences of it. Tactless, you may consider it. Honest, is what I call it. However, honesty is not always the best policy. There are times when one has to supress one's ideas or thoughts for his or her own sake (and for other's sake as well).

There are a lot of instances that I have been in trouble because of my being overly honest. Meaning, I have said things that I should not have said. These are my usual Nelisms--my hirits and my comments, hurtful and otherwise. Hirits that could have been surpassed. Comments that should have been supressed. However, they were blurted anyways. These thoughtless comments gave a much greater impact than the force by which it was delivered. A small forceless comment posting a great impact. An impact, destructive in some ways.

Trina, my MEcO Prez predecessor, said something before that she is afraid everytime I will make a joke or a hirit because it always has the tinge of hurtful honesty into it. I don't know, maybe my hirits are my subconscious effort to express what I want without directly hurting anyone. Maybe it's my non-confrontational approach to confrontation. Or maybe, it's just that I really don't think before speaking. I think it is more of the latter (hehe). And the sad thing is, as mentioned earlier, the effects are often than not destructive.

I'll give you two funny instances when I should have shut my big mouth. Instances wherein I worsened an already bad scenario because I did open my mouth.

Instance Number 1: My very first Philo oral exams
Admittedly, I have a weak grasp of Philo at the start. Probably, it's because of my lack of worldly experience as I have always had a privileged life. (My having a privileged life may also be a reason why I falter even at the smallest challenges. I am such a weak person.) Going back to my Philo Orals story... I came to my Philo orals quite unprepared, in the sense that I really don't get Philo during that time. I just didn't grasp the concept. Anyways, during the orals while mumbling meaningless talkies, I paused and said to my teacher, 'Ma'am, I don't even understand myself right now'. I got a D+ for my orals...hahaha...at least my +.
Lesson learned: Never tell your teacher during an oral examinations that you do not understand what you are saying!!! Kahit di mo alam sinasabi mo, wag na wag mong sasabihin na di mo alam.

Instance Number 2:
I had a talk with my boss regarding my 'unpreparedness' for the seminar wherein I have to be a speaker. He was telling me that I should have been more prepared, that I should have mastered my topic two weeks beforehand. So, what did I answer him, 'Sir, I'm a crammer eh'.
Lesson Learned: Never Never tell your OC boss that you are a crammer. It is not what he wants to hear after he tells you that when he does presentations, he is prepared 2 weeks before the date.

So there, I just have to learn to think before speaking.
At tulad ng rule sa AMS Dept. sa office, Buzzer muna bago humirit.

An update

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

I just realized that I haven't updated my blog for almost 3 weeks already. My excuse is that, well, I have been busy. Actually, the real reason is that I have nothing substantial to say (though, my blog is anything but substantial). Yes, I do live a boring life. (Hahaha, fishing!)

Some random thoughts.

Lately, I have been observing that there is a proliferation of bikes, scooters, and motorcycles on the streets. Is it because the prices of gas have skyrocketed that everybody resulted in, well, riding alternative transportation such as the bicycle? I swear, every day I see more 2-wheel vehicles on the streets than any other mode of transporation. And these two-wheelers cruise along the streets as if they own them. Whoever said that 'the jeepney is the hari of the kalsada' is mistaken. (Sorry for the conyo taglish phrase!). They ride in flocks as if they are in the Tour de France irritating other motorists. They don't have any safety gears, and some don't even have reflectors making them unseeable at night. They are just accidents waiting to happen. And if ever you get into an accident with them, it is never their fault. It is your fault! It is your fault that they swerved right in front of your car and that you didnt see them because they have no reflectors or whatsoever.

I have this theory that there is some kind of a secret organization of all bikers (who bike on public streets without proper precautions whatsoever) to annoy all other motorists. They hold secret meetings and discuss upon themselves who will they annoy next.
For example:

"Annoying Bikers Secret Meeting"
Agenda: Annoy Nel
Vehicle: White Civic more popularly known as Dick the Civic
Strategic Actions:
1. 10-15 bikers will ride right in front of the subject (Nel). They will occupy both lanes and travel in, I dont know, 10-15 km per hour, making it impossible for the subject to overtake.
2. There shall always be a bike or two at who will overtake on the right of the subject, with only around an inch gap from the subject's car and in a postion wherein the subject can't see the bikers through her side mirror (though she rarely uses her side mirror).

I swear, there is such an organization!

Sorry for such an elitist (and partly self-centered) post.
Actually, I'm sorry for such a stupid post.

Nel is...

Crazy
Crazy
Crazy
Beautiful

just recently...

Weekend Sh*t
As if nothing happened
Jeez...
Zambales Surf...
My New Dick!
What's Up Surf's Up
Advance Open Water Diver
Cebu!
Bicol-Donsol (with uploaded photos)
Some Backlog