The Inner Workings of my Schizophrenic Mind

I'm Jinxed

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

There's this book I've read three years ago entitled "A Series of Unfortunate Events" by Lemony Snicket. It's about the chain of misfortunes of the Baudelaire siblings following the sudden death of their parents. The back cover summary starts off with...

Dear Reader,
I'm sorry to say that the book you are holding in your hands is
extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very
unlucky children....

It's a good but irritating kind of book. Good, because of it's unique story-telling style. Irritating because it seems nothing goes right with the characters and because Lemony Snicket keeps on saying that the story does not have a happy beginning, a happy ending, and very few happy things happen in the middle. At the near end of the first book, when readers thought that it is all good and happy, then Lemony Snicket warns the readers that though it seems that the main characters will live happily ever after, they will not. Then he suggests to shut the book if the readers would rather have the image of the happy siblings.

By the way, this book is turned into a Hollywood film, starring Jim Carrey.

****

I am now in my own series of unfortunate events. (Though not as unfortunate as the Baudelaire siblings). I think I'm jinxed. First, I got into that stupid car accident in Commonwealth last Christmas. Then, my necklace got snatched along EDSA. And just several hours ago, my side mirrors were stolen.

I went to the Bamboo Concert in UP Bahay ng Alumni. I parked on the side of the building where it was relatively well-lit. There were policemen at the main entrance. But still, some idiots have managed to steal my side mirrors(actually my mom's side mirrors--I used her car).

I'm not the kind of person who "likes" going to concers. I only go when it is a school/org-sponsored, or when I can get free tickets (like that of the VIP tickets for Incubus last year). I don't know, why I asked Aisa to go with me to this particular concert, but I did, and we went.

Also, I never use my mom's car for gimmicks. I only use it today because Dick is color-coding. And, for some weird cosmic reason, the very first time I use my mom's car, is the time when the side mirrors get stolen.

What I'm driving at is my observation that unfortunate things happen when there is an unconscious break in your usual routine or cycle. Think about it. Usually bad things happen when you slightly change something from your routine. I'll give you another example. My mom's friend was robbed P9000. She was on her way to pay their household bills . Then a motorcycled man snatched her purse. There goes her money, her cellphone and everything. The weird thing is that it is her very first time to put her money in her wallet and in her bag. She always puts her money inside her pocket and she said, she does not know what came into her mind why she brought a wallet (when she never uses a wallet). And then the very first time she brings a purse (in paying the bills) is the time her purse gets snatched.

Maybe it's coincidental. Maybe there's a great cosmic force or even maybe a karmic force that drives to this incident.

You know what they say about space-time continuum? When one has the opportunity to travel back to the past, don't change even a small thing because it completely alters the future. I have this old Simpson episode running in my mind. Homer time-travelled to the Jurassic period, then he killed a mosquito, then when he returned to the present, Flanders is King of the world. He entered a parallel universe, because he changed something in the past.

So what's my point? That maybe, a break in the continuity alters the near and distant future.

Actually, I don't have a point.

P.S. Ang gwapo ni Ira at ni Bamboo

Woohoo!

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Pasok si Constantine at si Anwar sa American Idol top 24! Constantine Rocks! hahaha! My other bets for American Idol Season 4...
1. David Brown- choir singer na favorite ni Randy
2. Mario Vasquez-kamukha ni Fez ng That's 70's Show
I guess makakapasok sa top 12 rin si Scott (yung fat white dude), si Tyler (yung cute na black guy) and probably yung kamukha na Harry Potter na blonde na buhok...

Sa girls...
hmmph, i think si mikalah--yung perky 16 year old cheerdancer and yung pretty farm girl (carrie underwood?), and probably the girl with the afro hair...o well

Sayang si sharon vasquez. She blew it doon sa final acapella round. She chose a terribly cheesy song!

O well..ang cute ni Constantine...kahit di siya kagalingan kumanta...he rocks!

Looking Back, Moving Forward

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

I started blogging several months ago in the midst of my doing nothing (and pretending to do something) at work. My earlier entries were composed mostly of angst-filled essays and unbounded-idealistic questions. It was a chronicle of my unfulfilled life as a mediocre employee--a vent-out mechanism to unnerve the screaming innerself. There were bits and pieces of funny entries such as those describing my office space as a hell with fluorescent lighting and anecdotes about work and the "boss". My favorite one was the one with the tissue paper incident.

Then I left my job. My entries spanned from the non-sensical to the almost profound. I have written about food that I ate, about food that made me sick, movies that I've watch, TV shows that I hate, books that I've read, accidents that I've been through. I told stories of my past, my childhood memories and the like, and sometimes let audience glimpse at my bleak future. I sometimes give my take on issues that personally bother me and that of my friends such as the infamous quarter life crisis.

I've written almost about everything except something about love. What can I say? I'm not an expert on that department. I've never been in love. Or maybe I have. I just didn't know it then. Or maybe all this time I have been denying it. The article that I have written that has the closest semblance to love was that of the curdoroy skirt. But again, it was really about a skirt!

What started out as a public venting mechanism developed to be a tool for self-discovery. I initially blogged to share to my friends my weird thoughts and experiences and to free my mind of whatever's bothering me. However, my writing has become more of a personal journey. I write what I know about myself so as to further understand myself. And hopefully from that understanding springs acceptance and growth. It is an understanding rooting from knowledge, an acceptance stemming from that understanding, and that acceptance flowering into maturity.

I will be embrking in a new stage in my life. My fun bum days are nearly over as I will soon enter the corporate workforce. (Well, assuming that I pass the medical exams). I will again enslave myself, but now for a more stable organization offering better benefits *wink*.

I might not have time to blog as much anymore because I will be working 6 days a week. I'll be working in a company which has a premise regarding my emotional immaturity. With that, I shall try to grow up as I am growing old (but not as old as Mama B!!! hehehhe). All I can say right now is, Lucky Me!

Google

Saturday, February 12, 2005

I Googled myself. Wanting to know if this particular blog page will appear through Google's search engine (and because of lack of anything else to do with the internet), I typed Nel Capila in the search bar.

There were 4 search result pages, mostly of unrelated and un-understandable Spanish pages which contain both Nel and Capila "words". My blogsite was not listed. However, I found my name and contact detail in one of the election sites database under the "NAMFREL NCR Quezon City" Section.

What was more interesting was that there was this other site which has my name on it. It listed " 94. Capila, Nel (Ateneo de Manila University)". I suppose that's me! I also recognized some names of my fellow Ateneo students such as of Boom's, Onry's, EJ's and Howie's. My name was listed together with numerous respected names from the academe, politics, and arts. Some of them are as follow: Marilou Diaz Abaya, Fr. Luis David of the Philo Dept., Dr. Fabian Dayrit, Mr. Gealogo-my history teacher, Dr. Rainier Ibara of Philo, Nick Joaquin, Sionil Jose, Pete Lacaba, Fe Mangahas (the historian), Rogelio Mangahas (the poet), Jim Paredes, Mar Roxas, Soledad Reyes, Vic Tirol and Lorna Kalaw Tirol... plus some others.

Apparently it was a list of signatories for a "Yes to Peace Negotiations". It states that...

We, the undersigned Filipinos and friends of the Filipino people, strongly urge the Arroyo government and the National Democratic Front (NDF) to resume immediately, and in earnest, the interrupted peace negotiations and thus seize the opportunity to end the country's long-standing civil war....
We, therefore, ask the Arroyo government to withdraw, as many other countries have done, its uncritical support for the U.S. war on terror whose limits the U.S. has reserved for itself to define. Continued support for this war of terror is a course that will only plunge the country into a regime of violent conflict and lay the country vulnerable to overt foreign military intervention. The Arroyo government would have to assume responsibility if the ravages and suffering Vietnam, Nicaragua and El Salvador underwent as a result of U.S. intervention are repeated in the Philippines.
We appeal to the government and the NDF to retrace the steps towards peace as a defiant act of national unity against foreign intervention.
September 1, 2002

I do not remember when I signed this. Anyways, it is just so cool to see my name listed amongst the name of respected Filipinos. Asteeg!

Season Finale

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Yey! Tapos na Amazing Race...hahha kebs ko! Wala akong gusto sa contestants ngayon, kse lahat sila magkakamukha. O well, nanalo sina Freddy and Kendra...Naalala ko lang yung dating nakakainis na comment ni kendra nung nasa Africa sila...something like "this city is so hideous (plus some other deregatory terms) and the people here just keeps breeding and breeding in poverty", as if she's describing pests. Gosh, talk about elitista.

Woohoo! Nasa Hollywood na yung mga American Idol contestants! Anyways, favorite ko si Constantine...yung rocker na gwapo na nagalit yung mga bandmates nya sa kanya kase iiwan nya yung band nya for something na "bubble gum". Basta, he rocks! Sana makapasok sha sa top 12.

Gusto ko rin si Anwar..yung Bob Marley-looking na teacher. Ang soothing ng boses nya eh.

Sharon Galvez ba yung name ng Pinay? Yup, yun ata! Basta sa Smokey Mountain pala sha noon! Sha yung girl na mukhang Chinese boy na may bangs na may tayo-tayo na hair! Naalala niyo na? Basta let's all sing, the coconut nut is a giant nut, if you eat to much you get very fat...o well, di na sha fini-feature sa AI, sana makapasok sha sa top 12.

----
Share ko lang...
Binasa sakin yung confidential psychological results sa isang employment test ko. Actually, confidential raw yun, pero binasa rin nung nag-interview sa akin (hahaha, pasaway!)...

Mga 2 pages essay yung results nun...about my personality, about my strengths and weaknesses etcetera etcetera. and guess what, mejo tumpak sha! hehhe ironic--mejo na tumpak!

What caught me is the result saying that i'm emotionally immature! woohoo!! how true! Na, I can't manage my emotions quite well..If external problems kayang-kaya ko solusyunan (especially logical problems), if problems ng iba, i can give advice, but if it's regarding my own situation, my own emotions, i'm just simply clueless. It says something rin about me trying to supress my feelings and my own insecurities, keeping a "poker" face of some sort.

Tapos the test reaffirmed rin my being "impatient". Tinanong nung interviewer kung impatient ba talaga ako..sabi ko "very!". tanong nya, "so kanina habang naghihintay ka, impatient ka na ba 'nun". sabi ko "hindi naman, kse may dala akong book!"..hehehe. Nalaman ko rin na I get easily frustrated...nyeck, dati ko pang alam yun!

Anyways, may mga good things rin namang nasabi, pero baduy pag-usapan eh!
Basta, yung point ko lang, may pinatutunguhan pala yung psychological tests sa mga job applications, akala ko joke lang yun na para masabing may ginagawa yung mga HR

So next time na sasagot tayo ng fill-in the blanks questions tulad ng:
My sex life is _____________________________
Seryosohin niyo, dahil ni-plo-plot nito ang iyong personality...

The Beach

Monday, February 07, 2005

Puerto Galera is a good weekend spot if you're travelling on a budget. I spent less than P2000 on transportation, lodging, souvenirs, a pair of board shorts, a massage!, several shots of Mindoro Sling (rhum-based drink) and lots of food food food.

One also has the option to try out several water sports like snorkling, jet ski, banana boat etc etc.

Anyways, here are some pictures...

Front Row: Sheryl, Lanie, Me, Isa. 2nd Row: Tin and Melai

Wow! Artistic Shot! Actually dapat yung beach lang yung kukunan ko, biglang dumaan si Melai...hehehe, pero ang ganda ng shot 'no!

Galera by day!

Galera by night! Nasa isang bar with the bading owner (with a foreigner BF, pero nung nalaman na bading siya friends na lang daw sila). Drinking Mindoro Sling.

On the way home

A couple of...

Anyways...yun lang yung pictures ko! dapat pala pinucturan ko yung inihaw na hotdog, halo-halo, 80+ pieces of fishball, at kung ano-anong pinagkakain namin!

The Misadventures of a Naive Traveller

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Just got back from Puerto Galera 30 minutes ago. Please allow me share to you the highlights of my latest adventure--err, misadventure!

We boarded the 4 am bus to Batangas Port and arrived at around 6 am. As we wait for the 7:15 ferry going to Galera, we decided to eat breakfast in a small portside carinderia. I ordered half cup of rice, instant coffee, and Nilagang Baka. My total bill was a whopping P100. It was the most expensive breakfast I have ever eaten! And, it was not even good! The meat (which was supposed to be soft because it's Nilaga), was hard that I needed a steak knife to cut it into pieces. And it was a carinedria, for godsake, without any ambience whatsoever. Talk about rip-off! At least the P130 lunch I ate in Galera consisted of grilled tilapia, grilled squid, prawns, liempo, chicken, Sinigang soup, itlog na maalat with kamatis, and Sprite. (And it was on a beachside! A far cry better than the 100-buck unsatisfying nilaga I had in Batangas! Moral of the story: Don't eat at Batangas Port.

All seats were taken to the ferry that will bring us directly to the resort we are staying in. The barkers were saying puno na sa M/B Trinidad...So we asked the ticket lady, so she said there were really no available seats. We asked her what time the next ferry will come, and she didn't answer us. The barkers were shouting, O dito na lang kayo, 730 alis, sa White Beach 'to. So, okay, we purchased tickets because we assumed the ferry will dock on the White Beach Shore (as said by the barkers). After an hour or so, the ferry was slowing down, we are entering a sort of a port. Guess what, it docked on the port of Puerto Galera! On the main bayan. Not on the White Beach Shore, but on the port town! So, okay, the White Beach Shore,where most of the resorts are, is 7 km away! We rode a tricycle and paid 40 bucks each. Moral of the story: Don't trust barkers!

Our friend who went to Galera a day earlier than us had a different misadventure. One that cost her almost 800 bucks. As she told us, when they went down the bus, a sort off porter offered to carry her bag, brought them to a carinderia, let them eat, then offered a lot of 'pasalubong delicasies', a 1.5 gallon of mineral water (which I doubt if the content of the bottle is actually mineral water). For some reason, she cannot decline. She was billed around P750. It is not outright stealing, because, obviously she "purchased" some goods. But it was a very dirty selling tactic. One of our companions, a native Batangenyo, said that it is really the modus operandi of those vendors.

There is a thin line defining making a sale and ripping off people. Most of the time, in my experience, anyhow, vendors and tourism-related people (such as barkers, drivers etc), cross this line. It is just so despicable (my very controversial word, hehehe) that people resort to these kinds of tactics just to make some few bucks.

Let's rewind to summer of 2004. Some of my SAWI friends and I went to Bohol for our graduation/summer outing. Since direct flight to Bohol is expensive at that time (still a PAL monopoly), we opt to take a plane to Cebu, then a ferry to Bohol. We got an airport-taxi service, P800/ 2 hours. Extra minutes will be paid. We could have taken a metered taxi, but since we did not know better, we didn't. Anyways, the driver drove so slow, made unescessary stop (to the taxis service office), drove us into opposite directions, just so we will exceed the 2 hours. We are not being presumptious, it is obviously his tactic! We asked to be brought to a place to eat. We said somewhere on the way! But no, he brought us on an exact opposite of what is "on the way". He let us eat in an semi-expensive restaurant. It was quite expensive because there was a culture show--some performers dancing so-called cultural dance. We did not go to Cebu to watch a goddamn cultural dance. Cebu was a transit point and probably somewhere we can get a quick bite "along the way". Exactly 2 hours after, we arrived the pier. The taxi-service driver is "somehow suggesting" to give him a tip. Gosh, he is so annoying!!! Mejo more than 2 hours na raw. Whatever! Kakainis! Mas nakakainis sa Nilagang Baka experience ko sa Batangas! On the way back, our taxi fare from pier to airport was 150 bucks. We were there in like 30 minutes!

Fast Forward it to tonight. On the way home, Lanie and I went down in EDSA-Shaw. Just seconds after i boarded off the bus, a guy came over us then pulled-off something my neck. Then he ran. I was stunned. Frozen. Didn't know what's happening during that moment. Just then I realized, my necklace was pulled off! I was snatched. I mean, my necklace was snatched! Heart beating fast, mind uncleared. Lanie and I were both shocked. After few seconds walking (towards the FX terminal), she asked, "nel, okay ka lang?'.

Actually, I don't know what to feel or to think . I was just stunned. I actually don't care about the necklace, so technically, nothing really valuable was taken (unlike if it was my wallet with all my IDs and ATM cards). I was just, I dunno, stunned. It was the first time I was robbed and it was very in a very unexpected place and situation. I mean, I am used to going to Quiapo, Divisoria, Baclaran and I never got snatched, pickpocketed or whatever. When I go to these places, I'm quite dressed-up compared to what I was wearing a while ago. I mean, I just got back from the beach, I was in pajama-looking pants, black sleeveless shirt, jacket, Islander slippers, a big backpack, my cellphone case and digicam bag safely-strapped from my left shoulder to my right waist.

While we were walking, my mind seems blank but at the same time flashes of thoughts travel in it. I was shocked but pretended nothing different happened. Asked, if I'm okay, I just replied, 'Okay lang, kwintas lang yun'. I was hoping that whoever snatched my necklace needed it more than I do. The situation reaffirms that the world is such an evil place.

Anyways, my cellphone rang. My mom was calling me to ask where was I. Freshly robbed, of course I was apprehensive to answer the phone while walking in that oh-so-evil place. We went inside a mall where it was well-lit and where weare near a security guard. Then my friend said,
'Wait, Nel, di nakuha yung necklace!". She saw my necklace, on my nape, supported by my jacket collar. Thank God! After thanking God that I still got my necklace, I thought, 'ay ang tanga nung magnanakaw!

But looking back, I am so lucky. I mean, not only that the thief unsuccessfully snatched my necklace, but because nothing worse happened. He did not have a gun or a knife. I'm still alive. I lost a gold cross pendant, but I gained a rather different kind of experience. It was an unusual ending to a usual fun vacation.

They say that the journey is as important as the destination. This goes true for vacations. The fun of a vacation is not only in the 'vacation' itself. The fun is in the travel towards the vacation destination and the travel on the way home.

Wala Lang

Friday, February 04, 2005

I have a screwed-up sense of priorities and a weird sense of self-discipline.

For one thing, I cancelled my job interview this Saturday so I can go to Puerto Galera with my friends and the friends of my friends. I've been looking forward to the trip that a step for my so-called career development is quite negligable at that moment. Later on, I thought, 'what if that interview is my last chance to enter that company'? But then again I will imagine the sun, the beach, and the mere idea of being out of the house this weekend, then the whole prospect of going to a Saturday interview seems unappealing.

Second, last week I said to myself that I will cut down my carbs intake. Meaning, I will not eat rice and avoid eating too much desserts. The day I made that promise, we had Crispy Pata for dinner. So of course, I have to eat rice with Crispy Pata. That's the perfect combination. Then I ate rice for breakfast the next morning, then rice for lunch etc etc. Also, for some reason we have lots of snacks at home (which does not happen too often). We had ube, buko pie, choco flakes from Tagaytay, biscocho, butterscotch, piyaya, barquillos from Iloilo. Plus chocolate. To make the long story short, there are lots of carbo-things to munch on that I was not able to observe my so- called diet. Talk about self-discipline.
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Hay naku, ang hirap talaga magpalaki ng magulang.
Tapos eto pa. Kung may ginawa kang tama, sasabihin na mana ka sa kanila. Blah Blah blah. Tapos kung may ginawa kang remotely hindi tama, sasabihin "hindi ko alam kung san mo nakuha yung ugali mong ganya". Ba't ganun?
-----------

So, naglilipat kami ng channel. Tapos, may semi-luma na palabas na movie sa Cinema One (or baka sa Studio 23, yung afternoon movies nilas). Starring Sharon Cuneta, Gary V, Tonton Gutierrez, Amy Perez, tapos some old artistas na magulang kunwari ni Sharon at Gary.

Mga last 10 minutes na lang ng movie yung naabutan namin. Conflict resolution and ending part na. Pero, mabubuo mo rin yung whole movie fromthe dialogues.

Anyways...

Scene 1: Nag-uusap si Gary at si Sharon (si Tonton asa background)
Gary: Kaya pala magaang ang loob ko sa'iyo
Sharon: Lukso ng dugo pala ang nararamdaman natin sa isat-isa. Inakala natin...
Gary and Sharon: ...pag-ibig

( so apparently, nagkagustuhan si Gary at si Sharon. Si Tonton, I assume, may gusto rin kay Sharon... So there was like a love triangle. Tapos, naresolve yung triangle dahil magkapatid nga pala si Gary at si Sharon).

Scene 2: Si Amy Perez may gusto kay Gary V. (Hindi niya pa alam na magkapatid yung 2)Tapos, naghahanap siya ng skeleton in the closet ni Sharon, para siraan niya kay Gary V. From her hired detective, nalaman niya na nasa mental assylum yung nanay ni Sharon at nakakulong ang tatay.

Scene 3: Inuwi na ni Gary V at ni Sharon yung nanay nila mula sa mental assylum. Asa bahay ata ni Gary V tong scene na 'to. Pagdating nila asa sala si Amy Perez.

Amy: Ano ba yan Gary V, bakit kelangan mo tulungan si Sharon at yung nanay niyang baliw. Ano ba yang pinapasukan mo?
Gary V: Ang problema niya ay problema ko rin
Amy: Bakit ganyan na lamang ang pagmamalasakit mo sa babaeng yan.
Sharon walks in...
Gary V: (he said somehting, di ko na maalala)
Amy: (Looking at Sharon) ANo bang meron sa babaeng yan...
Sharon: (with a sarcastic tone) Ano ba yun, Kuya. Bakit ganyan na lang umasta yang babang yan. Mamili ka naman ng mabait na mamanugangin ko.
Amy: Kuya?
Sharon: Ah, hindi pa ba sinabi sayo ni Gary na magkapatid kami
Gary: Oo, totoo yun, magkapatid kami! Ang nanay niya, ay nanay ko rin.

Scene 4: Kelangan mapalaya nila yung tatay nila sa kulungan
Gary V (to Sharon): Magaling na criminal lawyer ang ninong ko. Mapalalaya niya si Itay.

To fill you in with some details, inampon si Gary V ng mayaman--yung tipong rich, politician-ganglord depiction sa Filipino movies. Gets? Tapos, apparently yung papa ni Gary V yung nagpakulong sa itay nila.

Scene 5: So, mejo happy family na. They move in to this new apartment. Wala na sa mental institution yung nanay nila. Nakalaya na yung tatay nila sa kulungan (see, sabi ni Gary V magaling na criminal lawyer yung ninong niya).

Yung setting andun sila sa street sa tapat ng bago nilang bahay. Papasok sila ng house
Then, biglang may nag-pull-over na car across the street. Papa ni Gary V...

Papa ni Gary V: (Name ng Itay ni Gary V), bakit nakalaya ka na... Habang buhay ang hatol sayo
Itay ni Gary V: Marahil sa mata ng tao may pagsasala ako. Ngunit sa mata ng Diyos , wala!
Papa ni Gary V pulls out a gun
Itay ni Gary V: Sige, paputikin mo. Para malaman nila kung sino talaga ang mamamatay tao

Pinaputok nung Papa yung baril...Tumakbo si Sharon para sumangga sa Itay nila...Nabaril si Sharon sa likod. Na-heart attack yung Papa ni Gary V.

Scene 7: Hospital Scene
So apparently, okay lang si Sharon. May bandage lang siya sa likod..Pero nakakatayo na sha, nakakalakad...
Tapos, namatay sa heart attack yung Papa ni Gary V.

So happy ending na diba? Patay na yung kontrabida. Magkakasama na silang pamilya...
Well, hindi pa talaga ending...

Scene 8:
Concert scene!!! Kumakanta sa Stage si Sharon at si Gary V!!!
Yun ang ending...
Bow!

Nel is...

Crazy
Crazy
Crazy
Beautiful

just recently...

Weekend Sh*t
As if nothing happened
Jeez...
Zambales Surf...
My New Dick!
What's Up Surf's Up
Advance Open Water Diver
Cebu!
Bicol-Donsol (with uploaded photos)
Some Backlog